The mother – daughter relationship is truly a unique one. It can enrich the lives of both parties, but when it goes wrong, it can become toxic. What are the things to avoid?
There are a few reasons why the precious mother – daughter relationship can become an unhealthy one. Psychology Today outlines some of the issues that can cause this can be a less than perfect situation, and some signs to look out for.
If a mother is dismissive of her daughter, it can impact on her self-confidence and the bond she has with mum. Actively listening to this young lady is vital, hear what she has to say and within reason, act on her wishes.
Some mums try to control everything and this not only suffocates the development of self-reliance, but makes the daughter turn from the mother. This is a hard habit to shake but balance must be found in these situations.
Emotional unavailability in the mother leaves a daughter yearning for that attachment, and often throughout her life. Women who’s mothers were emotionally distant crave this attention from others, even as adults. A variation of this behaviour is when mum is very self-involved with work or whatever else it may be. It can come across to daughter as a lack of interest, again hindering the mother – daughter bond.
Being enmeshed is the opposite to this, whereby mum literally lives her life through the daughter. Listening to and being respectful are the antidote this and the negative effects it can have.
Unreliability is hard on any child and when a mother is not reliable for her daughter it hurts. Some daughters can experience a different mum depending on the situation at hand and find this frustrating.
In many of these situations, it could be the case that mum may need some support herself, of may have experienced the same feelings with her mother. The trick is to spot the signs. That’s the first step towards taking action and salvaging a relationship that will truly enrich the lives of both. Stepping out of a cycle is the way to make change happen, and once you do, you will reap the rewards, for life.